Cheap thrills

Does it kill
Does it burn
Is it painful to learn
That it's me that has all the control?

It’s alright. Of course it’s alright. It’s always alright.
There’s always the next time.
Who cares about this time?
Except that you can’t help but care
And you can't get your stupid brain to stop imagining hypothetical couldhavebeens.

Does it thrill
Does it sting
When you feel what I bring
And you wish that you had me to hold?

The problem with addiction is that you don’t know when to stop.
The problem with addiction is that you don’t even know when you’ve lost control.
Except how do you get addicted to something you’ve barely had?
Ambiguous addiction?
How do you find it so difficult to deal with the loss of something you never even had?
How do you crave the high of something so remote you wonder if you just made it up?

Shouldn’t you have kicked the habit by now?
Shouldn’t you have realized that sometime, someday you’ll have the chance to taste your high again?
And now is just not the time?

Except that..
When you’re down and out like this
How can you not sit around thinking of that high?
That powerful adrenaline rush?
And how you’re going to have to wait so very long to forget yourself again..