Diversions and Beaches.

You want to know what I need?
I’ll tell you what I need.
I’ll tell you what I need, if I have bound and gag you to make you listen.

I need Goa.

I need the warm weather, the sea, the beach, and millions of tourists all around drinking and trying to pronounce hindi words while being shamelessly cheated by roadside vendors.

Yes. Indeed. I need Goa.

Stupid ancestors from East/West Bengal. I mean really. The Howrah Bridge instead of the Indian Ocean? How lame.
No wonder I turned out like this, it’s in my genes.

You know what else I need?
I’ll tell you what else I need.
I’ve already bound and gagged you so all the struggling is doing you no good.

I need to be distracted.

So if one of you could just create some sort of immense diversion, I really would be very glad.
I’m not talking epic proportions or anything.
Just you know.
Absorbing.
Or something.

And finally, I need to break stuff.
Like watch things smash to the ground and shatter into thousands of irreparable pieces.

Sigh.
I need to get off this blog, and get a life.
Argh.

You know, Zoya may be right? I really might be an alien or something.
My name even rhymes with ET.
Then again Zoya is most likely to corrupt the minds of young children.
So bleh.
Stupid Facebook and stupid Superlatives.

G’bye chumps.