Tear.

For you.
And the wounds you cut that will not heal.

----------------------------------------------------------

“Hey, dude.
Don’t lean on me, man.
‘Cause I’m losing my direction and I can’t understand.”

You lie on your bed and turn the music loud.
Show’s over and you’re tired.
You stare at the ceiling, trying to make it talk.
Make it explain something.
Give you some answers?

But it obstinately stays blank.
Doesn’t even change colour, just remains the dull, plain white it’s always been.

The weight of the choice lies heavy on your guilty shoulders.

“Your hands are tied but you’re losing grip quickly.
Fix me – can you read the signs?”

You turn your focus to your hands and hold them up above you.
Crack your knuckles, and stare at your fingers, critically.
You try to make the lifelines turn into conversant scriptures.
Does that happen?
Haha.
Stupid appendages.

"I won't attempt to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone again."

You tell these people to remove themselves from the situation -
And let them believe that you’re unbreakable.
You pretend to know it all when factually you’re hopelessly lost in your struggle for the answers.
It stings now that you realized that you have no idea what’s lying ahead like you’re accustomed to.
It twinges to know that for the first time the answer isn’t at the tip of your tongue
It gnaws your insides raw - knowing that you’re just a silly little person lost in a chasm like situation that’s swallowed you up.
You have no idea what the goal is.
Heck, you don’t even know which road you’re on.

All of a sudden it’s the next morning.
Your ceiling’s still white and your hands still remain without anything erudite to reveal.

Instead you find your blog filled with some embarrassing crap that you belted out in the dead of the night, making you want to drown in a pool of your own idiocy.

So what do you do?
Turn the music loud and walk out into the cold, morning air.

Just be careful in the monsoon or the rain will wash away the paint you’ve applied so carefully.

You stupid, stupid hypocrite.

"And we wake up in the breakdown
Of the things we never thought we could be.
I'm not the one who broke you
I'm not the one you should fear

I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all."